"A man travels the world over in search of what he needs, and returns home to find it."
- George Moore (The Brook Kerith)
I left Canada 10 years ago.
After University, I went on a journey to a) discover the world b) prove that I could be successful on my own c) it seemed like the most exciting option
Since my worldwide adventure began, I haven't spent more than a week in Toronto. In the intervening decade, each time I returned home, I would typically be anxious to continue my journey. Its not that I didn't love spending time with my family, but by the end of the 7 days, I'd wake up more excited to return to my life abroad than another morning in Toronto.
About 1 year ago, the scales started to tip the other way. 
I began to think a lot more about being in Toronto, and the great joy I got from spending time with my family. I observed my family becoming much closer, developing deeper relationships and growing in tandem with the city. My last trip home, I went to our cousin's Passover Seder (family holiday dinner) with my father, my sister and her husband, and I knew virtually no one there. 
It feels as though the gap has never been wider between myself and home whilst I am also the most wistful and nostalgic for that exact closeness.
I'm sure a portion of it is age. I want to feel like I have a home and a place in life more than ever. The last three places I've spent the majority of my time (New York, San Francisco, Singapore) have felt "like" home, but lacked the permanence and grounding of home. Mostly I think they lacked the history of home, the memories, and my family. When I think forward to creating a family of my own (if I'm lucky enough) I have a hard time envisioning that in all the places I've got to play Peter Pan.  
So, my plan now is to spend 2 of the coming months in Toronto. 
It is an important part of the mental puzzle that is my Time On. With these emotions swirling around my heart, I really want better understand where I am going (or not going for that matter)
"Will I actually enjoy being home?"
Random aside. I wrote this chapter twice as it disappeared from the interwebs somehow. It reminded of this wonderful talk about creativity by John Cleese. He lost a script and rewrote it from memory, only to discuss the old script, compare them, and realize the new one was better. He believes the improvement comes from his unconscious mind continuing to work even after he had decided the work was finished, thus producing a better output in my memory.
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